Humorous Philosophy Quotes. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Quotes by Philosophers from BrainyQuote, an extensive collection of quotations by famous authors, celebrities, and newsmakers. Some people watch things happen. How did I come to be here?What is this thing called the world?How did I come into the world?Why was I not consulted?And If I am compelled to take part in it,Where is the director? “One acronym to live by: PDADP, meaning Personal Displays of Affection Disturb People.”, “Humor is a silent and polite dynamite which enables you to blow your own way of life sky-high every time you have had enough of it, yet with the maximum discretion and without making a mess.”, “So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Explore 1000 Philosophy Quotes by authors including Winston Churchill, Bertrand Russell, and Thomas Jefferson at BrainyQuote. So in truth, I don’t remember how much I drink; it's not my job.”, “You have to be careful to kill a fly that is perched on your scrotum.”, “A goat’s frown cannot stop it from being taken to the market.”, “It is okay for a child to play with the mother’s breasts, but not the father’s testicles.”, “you can't say "if this didn't happen then that would have happened" because you don't know everything that might have happened.You might think something'd be good, but for all you know, it could have turned out horrible. But only if you're a joke would you mind my poking.”, “Please respect my ism, though I have none. Some people watch things happen. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Is Mr. NOT nuts? Both of us should be okay with this. He acts on instinct, like a stable animal, convinced he's doing good, that he's always right, and sanctimoniously proud to go around f***ing up ... anyone he perceives to be different from himself, be it because of skin color, creed, language, nationality, or ... leisure habits. 2, YOGI IN SUITS: Christopher Nolan and Vedanta. “If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. Remember that his own religion is the truest to every man even if it stands low in the scales of philosophical comparison. Sometimes it simply means that the silent one has opted out of a discussion with idiots.”, “Earlier on I said something so lucidly philosophical that my oratory rambled non-stop right into expressing amazement I had just said that.”, “I'm a serious sort of fella. What the world needs is more thoroughly evil people and fewer borderline pigheads.”, “... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines!”, “Silence does not always imply consent. - Thomas Jefferson. "In my dreams," said the girl, "I'm the King.”, “Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? For, my buddy up there nowhere, Mr. NOT, too insists without proof, that he is. Whoever survives, will be our GOD! Either way you should probably have a diaper on.”, “Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.”, “Walking through life, we spend most of our energy choosing the right shoes.”, “Choose old people for enemies. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner, Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thuscould be intended for enjoyment.- Soren Kierkegaard, I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic, During the first period of a man's lifethe greatest danger is not to take the risk.- Soren Kierkegaard, To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily.Not to dare is to lose oneself.- Soren Kierkegaard, Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all.- Soren Kierkegaard, At the bottom of enmity between strangers lies indifference.- Soren Kierkegaard, There is nothing with which every man is so afraidas getting to know how enormously muchhe is capable of doing and becoming.- Soren Kierkegaard, Face the facts of being what you are,for that is what changes what you are.- Soren Kierkegaard, Pleasure disappoints, possibility never- Soren Kierkegaard, Life can only be understood backwards;but it must be lived forwards.- Soren Kierkegaard, If I am capable of grasping God objectively,I do not believe, but precisely becauseI cannot do this I must believe.- Soren Kierkegaard, The function of prayer is not to influence God,but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.- Soren Kierkegaard, Be that self which one truly is.- Soren Kierkegaard, Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.- Soren Kierkegaard, Prayer doesn't change God, but changes him who prays- Soren Kierkegaard, People understand me so poorly that they don't even understandmy complaint about them not understanding me.- Soren Kierkegaard, The minority is always stronger than the majority,because the minority is generally formed by thosewho really have an opinion.- Soren Kierkegaard, The self-assured believer is a greater sinnerin the eyes of God than the troubled disbeliever- Soren Kierkegaard, The philosophy of the school room in one generationwill be the philosophy of government in the next.- Abraham Lincoln, Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.- Soren Kierkegaard, Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living.- Soren Kierkegaard, Faith is the highest passion in a human being.Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.- Soren Kierkegaard, People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,for example, freedom of thought;instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.- Soren Kierkegaard, The truth is a snare:you cannot have it, without being caught.You cannot have the truthin such a way that you catch it,but only in such a way that it catches you.- Soren Kierkegaard, The highest and most beautiful things in lifeare not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but,if one will, are to be lived.- Soren Kierkegaard, It seems essential, in relationships and all tasks,that we concentrate onlyon what is most significant and important.- Soren Kierkegaard, The more a man can forget, the greater the numberof metamorphoses which his life can undergo,the more he can remember, the more divine his life becomes.- Soren Kierkegaard, A man who as a physical beingis always turned toward the outside,thinking that his happiness lies outside him,finally turns inward anddiscovers that the source is within him.- Soren Kierkegaard, Love does not alter the beloved, it alters itself.- Soren Kierkegaard, The tyrant dies and his rule is over,the martyr dies and his rule begins- Soren Kierkegaard, Far from idleness being the root of all evil,it is rather the only true good.- Soren Kierkegaard, Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless hastethat they hurry past it.- Soren Kierkegaard, All philosophy lies in two words,sustain and abstain.- Epictetus, Socialism is a philosophy of failure,the creed of ignorance,and the gospel of envy,its inherent virtue isthe equal sharing of misery.- Winston Churchill, There is no need for temples,no need for complicated philosophies.My brain and my heart are my temples;my philosophy is kindness.- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, Where am I?